Can't Help But Stay
by breathewithyou94
Summary: One month ago, Hermione Granger was in a blissful, secret relationship with another girl. Now she's in a practically forbidden relationship with Pansy Parkinson, but she can't help but stay. Go back to see what brought about her relationship.
1. The Beginning

**A/N: Hello, everyone. This is my first fic on here (with this account) and my first Hermansy fic on here at all. Please don't flame just because you don't like femmeslash, because here is your warning:**

**_THIS STORY CONTAINS SCENES OF A SEXUAL NATURE INVOLVING TWO HUMANS OF THE FEMALE SEX._**

**In other words, two girls have sex. If you don't like, please don't read. REVIEWS ARE APPRECIATED!!!**

* * *

What exactly was she doing here? She knew it was wrong—so very wrong—to be here, doing this. It was a betrayal to her friends, her House, her… morals; she was so confused, she didn't even know what she was betraying exactly.

But she felt the smooth curves on hers, felt the soft lips against her own, felt the dire need and harsh want in her stomach… she couldn't stop even if she tried, she knew it then. She was helpless.

But did she really want any help?

Yes, of course she did. This was the enemy; this was someone who'd practically tortured her throughout her school years, had made her life a living hell.

The fact that this was someone of the same sex didn't bother her at all, but she still had to stop. This was not just any girl she was laying in bed with.

This was Pansy Parkinson, but Hermione couldn't help but stay.

One Month Earlier

Oh, bloody hell, would they stop looking at her like she was deranged? She didn't have three heads like Fluffy. She'd just said she was going to the library, the one place she went away to practically every day. Why did they think it so strange? She questions this aloud.

"Hermione," Harry spoke slowly, as if talking to a first-year who thought they could fly off the top of the astronomy tower without a broom, "you know what we have planned for tonight. You didn't forget, did you?"

Hermione was confused; her expression told them so. Ginny and Harry glanced at each other warily: how could she forget?

"Hermione, you remember what we've been planning for the past month, don't you?" Ginny questioned.

"Well, of course," Hermione answered, "How could I forget about Ron's birthday party?"

This instigated another wary glance between the two in front of her, which confused Hermione more still, but she looked up as someone came down the stairs.

"Bloody hell, what time is it?" Ron questioned, yawning crudely and running a hand through his uncombed hair. "I haven't missed breakfast have I?" He stopped walking as he noticed the other three staring at him strangely. "What? Is something on my face? Bloody hell, it's not a sp-spider is it?" He began madly waving his arms about his hair, and Ginny rolled her eyes, stood, and walked to her brother, holding his arms still and hugging him tightly.

"Happy birthday, my dear, idiot of a brother," she said in what sounded like a sarcastic tone of voice.

"Oi, I'm no idiot, I'm smarter than you," he retaliated. "But thanks."

Harry himself stood and patted Ron on the shoulder, saying with a smile in his voice, "Happy birthday, mate."

"Thanks, mate," Ron replied.

Hermione was standing there, wondering how the hell she could forget one of her best friends' birthdays. Sure, she'd been a bit distracted lately, but how would that make her not realize what date it was? She looked up as Ron called her name.

"Hermione, isn't there something you want to say to me?" he said, grinning.

Hermione composed herself quickly and placed a smile on her face. "Oh, of course Ron," she said, walking over to the tall redhead and pulling him into a hug. "Happy 16th birthday."

"Thanks, Mione." His ears turned red as he grinned sheepishly. "I, er, I guess I'll be off to the Hall then…" He placed his hands in his pockets and walked out of the common room, and as the portrait door shut behind him, Harry and Ginny turned to Hermione.

"How could you forget the birthday party tonight?" Ginny asked, all wariness gone, and replaced with a confused anger Hermione just didn't want to deal with at the moment.

"It's not like I meant to forget, Ginny, and anyway, technically I didn't forget; I just didn't realize the date for today that's all. Honestly, how many times have you forgotten what date it was?" Ginny, realizing the reason in this, backed down and sighed.

"Alright, Hermione, I'm sorry. But I'm worried about you–"

"_We're _worried about you, Hermione," Harry interrupted, speaking up gently. "You've seemed… distracted lately. You haven't even been getting perfect scores on your assignments anymore."

Hermione sighed. "I know Harry. That's why I was just off to the library; I figured I could go ahead and start on that last assignment we got in Muggle Studies. I was just focusing on school work, I'm sorry. I won't go if you need my help with anything."

The other two sighed, and Ginny said, "No, Mione, its fine. You go ahead; we're pretty much done with the preparations. Just remember, the party starts right after dinner."

Hermione smiled. "No problem. Thanks! See you there!" She turned as she talked and the portrait shut behind her just as she finished.

Now she was racing down the corridor fast as she could without getting stopped for running and wasting more time. All she had just said to Harry and Ginny was a lie - well, most of it anyway. All the while she was running, she was thinking about how she was late. She slightly feared what would happen when she arrived at the library now. She'd been late once before and - a shiver ran down her spine as she thought of it.

She was there now, in front of the double doors. She checked the time: she was twenty minutes late. Twenty-one now. She took in a deep, shaky breath and opened the doors.

It was dark, and she could hear her heart pounding in her ears as she waited semi-calmly for her eyes to adjust. She was wondering why it was so empty, and then she remembered that the library was closed today; it was the first of march, and the first of every month was Madam Pince's holiday. The perfect time.

When her eyes adjusted so she could see the many rows of shelves, she glanced around, wondering. She started to take a step, but a voice startled her, coming from behind her.

"You're late."

Two simple words, spoken with that voice that left Hermione speechless. She turned and stuttered out her apology. "I-I'm sorry, it w-wasn't my f-fault."

"Well, whose fault was it then?"

"You - you promise not to tell them, r-right? Don't be mad at them…"

"Just tell me who the hell kept you from me!"

Hermione swallowed hard. Her heart was racing even faster than before. "H-Harry and - Ginny."

"Ah…" the voice sighed. "I should have known. No, Hermione, I won't tell them or hurt them at all. How could I hurt someone from my own House? But nevertheless, you are still late, regardless of who the fault falls upon."

Hermione breathed a silent sigh of relief. "I-I know-" She gasped as she felt a hand against her neck, running along her jaw line.

"Do you know, Hermione? Do you know what's going to happen now?" The hand went up into her hair, and there was another hand suddenly on her thigh. Her breath hitched.

"Will it b-be…the same thing as - as the last time I was late?" Her voice raised an octave, and she could hardly think straight as the hand slowly stroked her thigh.

"Do you want it to be the same as last time, Hermione?" Hermione was almost crying as her breath came shorter.

"Yes…God, Katie, please…"

And then Katie Bell's lips were on hers and all she could focus on were the soft, wet lips brushing against hers. The hand on her thigh moved under her shirt and stroked the skin of her stomach, sending tingles down Hermione's spine. Hermione reached a hand up to stroked Katie's cheek, but then she was pulled back away from Katie and against the wall, by magic apparently.

She moaned at the loss of warmth against her, and chains encircled her wrists and ankles. Then Katie was back, and in the dim light Hermione could see that she was unbuttoning her shirt. It hung open, exposing her bra and stomach, and Hermione whimpered, burning with the want to touch her. Katie pressed against Hermione and whispered into her ear, "Shh love… you wanted it like last time, remember?" the only response Hermione could utter was a whimper of agreement, and Katie started unbuttoning Hermione's shirt.

As her hands traveled lower, her fingers brushed against Hermione's bare skin, sending shockwaves throughout her body. Katie's lips brushed softly against hers, and she moaned as Katie's hand found her breast. Her hand went under her bra and squeezed softly, rolling over her nipple before vanishing Hermione's shirt and bra. Hermione moaned as Katie's lips left hers, but feeling them travel down her neck to her chest, she whimpered in pleasure.

As Katie's lips encircled Hermione's erect nipple, she felt a finger brush against her panties, under her skirt. Katie rubbed her through the thin material before pushing it aside and sliding a finger easily into her, scraping her teeth against her nipple simultaneously. Hermione's whimpers turned to moans as Katie moved on to the other nipple and moved her finger faster. Hermione was sure it was more than one finger now, and she threw her head back and arched her back as Katie pleasured her, like so many times before.

Katie moved her thumb across her clit and Hermione's moans grew louder. Katie came up from her breast and kissed her deeply, rough but full of passion all the same. She bit her lip and Hermione came hard, panting. Katie leaned her forehead against Hermione's and their breaths mingled together before she brushed her lips lightly against hers again.

"God, Katie…" Hermione whispered.

"Don't think we're not done yet, love," Katie replied. "It's my turn now."

* * *

Hours later, at a time unknown, Katie was sitting on the floor, her back against the wall, and Hermione was on top of her, half-in-her-lap and half-not, on her side, her head on Katie's chest. Katie's hand was stroking Hermione's hair softly, and Hermione was tracing circles on Katie's stomach.

Hermione was thinking about Katie; about how, on the train ride back to school from Christmas, both girls had been walking down the corridor, towards each other, and how the train had lurched when they passed each other, pressing Hermione against the wall and Katie against Hermione. Katie's hand had been pressed against Hermione's breast, and Hermione's heart was beating fast. Hermione's hand had been on Katie's thigh, and she unconsciously started stroking it softly. She hadn't realized it until Katie whimpered and closed her eyes, collapsing almost fully against Hermione, her thigh now between Hermione's legs and vice versa. Hermione had felt Katie's warm breath against her neck and had turned her head slightly, brushing her lips against the corner of Katie's mouth. Katie had turned her head and their lips met for the first time.

They had chosen the Hogwarts' train lavatories to hold their first snogging session. Harry and Ron gave Hermione hell for going missing, but in Hermione's eyes, it was worth it.

Hermione smiled softly to herself, thinking this, and then another thought came into her head: one that brought her dreams and bliss crashing down on her so suddenly that she gasped.

"Katie, you're leaving this summer," she said, not quite calmly, her voice catching on the word "leaving". She heard Katie sigh.

"I know Hermione. I'm not happy about it either."

"Well, what do you propose we do?" Hermione asked, sitting up, now, next to the older girl and placing her hand on her thigh. As soon as the words came out of her mouth, she wanted to take them back. She feared the answer. Her hands shook slightly as she stared at Katie's mouth, at the lips - swollen from so many kisses - that would end their relationship in about two seconds. She stopped breathing as Katie's lips started forming words.

"I don't want to leave you, Hermione." Hermione let out her breath slowly, and a smile formed on her lips. "But you know it probably wouldn't work between us once I leave." The smile dropped from Hermione's face, and she could feel tears welling up in her eyes; she could already feel the headache forming that always came with tears.

"Katie, we can try, though. We've made it this far," she said, pleadingly, her hands now covering Katie's.

"Hermione, I've been with you for three months - not even that, really, and we have almost all the same classes, all because of your brilliance," they both smiled at this, and Hermione blushed, "so how are we to know how well we can hold it - hold _us_ - together when we're apart?"

"Katie, you know how much I care for you; if we could just try-"

"Oh, well if you care so much for me, then why can't you tell your friends about us?" Katie took her hands from Hermione, put on her robes and stood, anger and frustration in her voice rather than the care that was there earlier. Hermione followed suit and reached for her lover's hand.

"Katie, you know they wouldn't understand… at least you know that I don't want to lose them if they don't. You know they've been my best friends since-"

"But I'm your _girlfriend_, Hermione. Honestly, you've been too worried about anyone finding out about us to pay any attention to me, Hermione! You know you don't have to completely ignore me during the daytime so that people won't find out about the two of us. You could've at least acted as though we were friends, instead of shunning me, basically. Do you know how much I care for you, Hermione?" Katie brought her hand to Hermione's cheek and stroked it gently. Hermione leaned into it and kissed her palm.

"Katie… I just didn't want for you to be hated by everyone in school. I didn't want your friends to turn against you or anything-"

"My friends already _know _I'm a lesbian, and they don't treat me any different. Hermione, you make this so hard for me to stay with you… I want to be with you always, for every waking moment. I want to fall asleep next to you and wake up with you there, but all you ever gave me were the afternoons. You never offered to meet up after dark, for me to sneak into the sixth-year dorms, _nothing_. We can't just have a relationship based on a few hours of every day." She paused, biting her lip before continuing, "I love you, Hermione - you have _no idea _how much I do - but if this is all that's going to happen between us, I can't do it anymore." Now Katie's eyes shone in the dim light with her tears, and Hermione's lip started to tremble.

"No! Katie, I-I'll tell them about us; I will! We can put up Silencing charms around my bed or yours at night - I'll stay with you till morning, I promise! We-We'll go to Hogsmeade together when that comes around, and we can sit together in the Hall during every meal - there's four months left of school, Katie, love, we can stay together that long can't we? Please, Katie…"

Katie bit her lip again, tilting her head and stroking Hermione's cheek gentler than before. "Hermione… I just don't know… I don't want to prolong this and then have to end it when school ends… I think we should end this, Hermione."

Hermione squeezed Katie's hand. "No, Katie, love, please! We can make it work, please, I love you!"

Tears fell from Katie's eyes as she said, "I'm sorry, Hermione, it's better this way…" She took her hand from Hermione's grasp and said, "I love you, Hermione, but it's over." She turned and ran out of the library, clutching her robes closed around her and letting a sob escape before the door closed.

Hermione stared at the door as tears streamed down her face and the library became unrecognizable. She collapsed against a row of books and stumbled, falling onto the ground. She wrapped her arms around herself and cried, sobs wracking her body as she lay cold and left alone.

That was the first night in all her years at Hogwarts she didn't spend sleeping in her bed.

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**So..... What does everyone think? Please review, because if you don't then i will most likely become discouraged and delete the story (probably, and it has happened before) so if you would like for me to continue the story, please review and tell me so. constructive criticism is also welcomed. ^^**

**~Bree**


	2. Love Letters

**Hello everyone! Sorry for the semi-long update, but I wanted to find out just where I wanted this chapter to lead the characters (and the plot)!!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot**

**Enjoy!!**

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Hermione awoke suddenly to the sound of sharp, loud thumps, coming from behind the entrance of the library.

"Hermione!" a voice called, and Hermione recognized it as Ginny's. "Hermione, are you in there?" and she continued, quieter, as if talking to herself, "oh, please be in there…Gods, where are you, Mione…?"

Hermione groggily scrambled to get her clothes back on and threw the double doors open, putting a hand through her hair as she registered the looks of surprise, relief, and anger pass over Ginny's face. "Gin -"

"Hermione, where the _hell_ have you been for the past - oh, I don't know - _twelve hours_?"

Hermione scoffed, "Ginny don't be ridiculous; I wasn't gone _nearly _that long. It was only a couple of hours, honestly." A slight scowl crossed her face; she really wasn't in the mood for this. Ginny, however, had an incredulous look on her face rather than an angry one.

"Hermione, you left _before breakfast_!"

"Yes, and what time is it now?"

"Nearly four in the morning! Ron's party ended _hours _ago! We've been searching for you since then!"

"Oh…" Hermione seemed - for once - at a loss for words. She took notice of the bags under Ginny's eyes and the paleness of her skin that could only come from lack of sleep. "Gin - I'm sorry; I was just studying… lost track of time…."

"Studying?" Ginny barked out a bitter laugh. "Justin Finch-Fletchley told us that the library was closed today for Madame Pince's holiday; we'd figured you just needed some time alone, had something on your mind, maybe - how did you even get in there? Even _you _don't have a key to the doors. Only the Heads do, besides Pince."

"Oh, what does it matter, Ginny?" Hermione snapped, her voice now harsh and sharp at the mention of the Head Girl. "You know I was in the library now; you know I'm _alive_, or whatever, so what more do you want?"

The look in Ginny's eyes softened considerably. "Hermione, what's going on with you? Something's bothering you…." Hermione sighed and rubbed her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Gin… honestly, I just fell asleep and didn't mean to stay in there that long. I _especially _didn't mean to miss the party, I just… I don't know. Too much pressure, maybe…?" Hermione stared back at Ginny now, with the consoling thought that at least she hadn't lied this time (she just hadn't told the whole truth). "I really am sorry, Gin; I didn't mean to cause anyone worry."

Ginny sighed and crossed her arms, calmed down but not completely forgiving. "Well, you're lucky I'm just glad you're alright. It's Ron you'll have to explain to."

And explain she did. When the two girls tiredly walked into the common room through the portrait, and when Ron didn't immediately blow up in front of their faces, Hermione thought that he'd be willing to listen and would understand why she hadn't been to his party.

Obviously, Hermione temporarily forgot that Ron was a Weasley, and a carrot-top, with a _very _short temper.

Hermione saw Ron laying on the couch in front of the fire and walked over to him. She stood hesitantly in front of him, and softly called his name. She got no response.

"Ron?" she called again, waving her hand in front of his face. "Ron, I'm sorry I missed your party… I really wanted to be there, but - Ron?" She furrowed her brow as Ron stood and walked towards the stairs. "Ron?"

"I think I'm gonna go to bed, mate," Ron said, to Harry. "Don't try to wake me up early tomorrow - er, rather later today. I'm really tired." Harry sighed at this, "Ron, don't…" but Ron continued up the staircase and slammed the door behind him.

Hermione shook her head and tried to hide the tears as she ran towards her own staircase, but someone stopped her. "Hermione," Ginny said, "Don't worry about him; he'll come around, you know him. He just needs to blow off some steam." Before Hermione could even register what she was doing, she was shaking off Ginny's hand and screaming at her.

"You don't get it, do you? It's not just about Ron; it's _never _been about Ron…" She put her hands through her hair and closed her eyes, praying for herself to calm down before she spilled every secret then and there. She tried to slow her breathing until Ginny started questioning her.

"What do you _mean_, it's not about Ron? What else exactly has been going on, Hermione? Who - or _what _- did something to you to have you so upset? Even lately, you've been going to the library even more than usual… I'm your friend, Hermione, whatever it is that's going on you can tell me." Her voice had gotten less harsh than from when she started talking, and Ginny paused before continuing. "You know I'll understand. You _do _know that, right?"

Hermione sighed once again and looked at Ginny sadly. "I know Gin. I know you mean the best, but…" she paused and took a deep, shaky breath, "I just can't talk about it right now, all right?" She turned without waiting for a reply and jogged up the stairs to her dorm. She collapsed on her bed in her day clothes and slept a fitful sleep filled with dreams of the girl who had just broken her heart.

* * *

Too early. The stupid sunlight had to come in through the window too early, Hermione was thinking as she squinted into the rude awakening. Of course, she thought, the muggle farmers _wanted _the sun to come up, so that their crops could "prosper" and they could "make a living". Blegh. Hermione hated farmers right now.

It had been one week since she and Katie had broken up, and though Hermione tried terribly, she could never keep her eyes off of Katie when they were in the Hall, or in classes. Ginny had been asking her more and more often if she was alright, that she seemed a bit spacey and whether or not she was getting enough sleep. Hermione always responded with the response Ginny both wanted to hear and wished were true. Ginny knew her better than anyone it seemed, and Hermione knew that the small lies she told everyday did not go past the redhead.

She groggily sat up and noticed that all the other girls were gone. She rubbed her eyes and noticed that on her dresser, in front of her reading glasses, were two letters, both with her name scrawled on the front. She recognized one as Ginny's boyish scrawl, and sighed to herself, thinking back on how much she truly wanted to reveal her secret.

But the other letter had a handwriting not recognizable to Hermione. It was a loopy, smooth cursive, that she thought made her name look marvelously beautiful. She glanced at the time - not forgetting that it was a Saturday, and that, therefore, there were no classes - and decided she needed a long, hot shower to help her decide what to do about the… er, Situation she found herself in. With that, she gathered a change of clothes, and turned to head out, but turned back at the last minute and took the letters with her. Whatever Ginny had to say to her, she would rather read it while relaxed.

A few minutes later she found herself in the Prefects' bathroom, immersed in lavender-scented water and soap, and leaning against the side of the pool-sized bath in complete relaxation.

She brought her arms up to rest on the deck behind her and felt the letters she had brought along. Immediately, her shoulders tensed again, and she found herself dreading what Ginny had to say in the letter. She picked up the one with the familiar lettering and unfolded it. Her pulse beat unsteadily as she read:

**Dear Hermione,**

**You've no idea how upset this whole thing makes me. I know you're keeping secrets from me, and I don't know how you can think it doesn't bother me. I'm your best friend, Hermione, or at least I thought I was. You're definitely mine. I thought we could tell each other everything. There's a match today between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, so I'll be there supporting Harry, but come to Myrtle's lavatory after dinner, and we can talk then.**

**You better not blow me off,**

**Ginny**

Hermione sighed. She wondered of the consequences if she were to head straight to the dorms after dinner instead of the astronomy tower. Ginny wouldn't do anything to her, Hermione knew that. She would think about it after she read the other letter, she decided. She placed Ginny's letter down and picked up the other, unfolding it.

The greeting was written in the same loopy script, but all that followed was in a neat, blocky-but-girlish print. Hermione wondered again who it could be from, and then began to read.

_My Dearest Hermione,_

_I love you. I simply cannot help myself when it comes to you. Have you noticed my staring in class? I love everything about you; the way you bite your lip when you're reading; how you furrow your brow when you're concentrating on an assignment. I admire your beauty, strength, intelligence… just being in the same room as you makes my pulse beat faster. I don't mean to scare you away, by any means, but I just wanted you to know that you have someone out there who loves you more than Katie Bell ever could or can. _

_I know you're wondering who sent this letter, and I know you're biting on your lower lip, on the right side, while you read this. I'm sorry, my love, but I'm afraid it is impossible for you to know who I am. I'm sorry._

_I love you_

She read the letter again, and again, until she had parts memorized. Half of her brain was screaming excitedly; she had a secret admirer! The other half was solemnly adding that whoever wrote this letter, whoever this person was that was apparently in love with her, knew about her relationship with Katie. If they wanted to, they could go right up to Hermione's friends and tell them about her former relationship. She knew the boys would be furious about her, er, Gay Situation. Ginny, she thought, would at least understand, even if she was upset with her not sharing in the first place.

But keeping a relationship behind their backs? She wouldn't be surprised if all three of them turned their backs and never looked back.

She had to talk to this person. With a quick summoning spell, she had her quill and ink, and began thinking of what to reply with. For Merlin's sake, she didn't even know for sure if it _was _a girl! The handwriting wasn't completely boyish, but it wasn't girly either. Besides, even girls can write like boys; take Ginny's script to mind.

Okay, she thought. I'm going to write it as if it were a complete stranger… which it was… Okay, now she was really over thinking it. Just write the letter, she told herself. She took a breath, turned the letter over to the blank back, and put quill to parchment.

_Hello,_

_I don't know who you are, or what House you're in, or even if you're a man or woman, or just a little child with a crush. But I would like to meet you. I'd rather not just go through letters, if you don't mind. I'm sure I wouldn't reject you right off the bat - oh, that's a muggle phrase, my apologies if you've practically no idea what that means - so would you consider coming to the astronomy tower after dinner? I'd understand if you would rather not come, but I'll be waiting there, whether you reply with an answer or no. _

_Hope to see you there,_

_Hermione_

She folded the parchment and, before she could change her mind, cast a spell to return it to the person who sent it in the first place.

It was only after it was gone that she remembered a spell to find the letter's origin.

Hermione went through the day in a sort of haze; not really paying attention to anything. Ron was still ignoring her, and Harry was torn between spending time with her and having Ron upset, or spending time with Ron and having to ignore Hermione. Most of the time, Harry seemed to choose the latter, as he would not so much as wave to Hermione if Ron was in the room. Ginny was asking of her wellness as usual, and Hermione was answering as she usually did.

She was sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Hall, during dinner. Ginny was glancing at her repeatedly, and Hermione was sure she'd follow if she just up and left. She honestly wanted to go ahead to the astronomy tower. She didn't know if her admirer would be there already, or if he/she would come at all.

But she didn't want to expect them not to come, so…

She stood up, and to Ginny's raised eyebrows answered, "Give me till dinner officially end, Gin, okay? I promise I'll be there." Ginny looked at her curiously, but nodded all the same, and Hermione turned and walked out of the Hall, hoping that whoever had sent the letter would see her walk out and decide to follow, if they weren't there already.

She got to the tower and it was dark. There was one torch lit, and the corners of the balcony were shrouded in the night. She walked to the railing and looked down on the grounds, out at the Black Lake, and the crescent moon reflecting on the water. After a few minutes of this, and letting her thoughts wander, Hermione heard a soft yelp from one of the darkened corners. She turned to face the person she knew was there.

"Hello?" she asked the corner. "Are you alright?" A soft, tentative voice answered.

"Oh, erm, yes, I'm fine. Just a spider is all." It was definitely a girl, and whoever she was, Hermione knew her, for her voice was slightly familiar. She chose to stay hidden in the shadows, though, so Hermione couldn't see how tall or short, thin or thick she was, much less details of her face.

"How long have you been there?" Hermione asked. It was a few seconds before the other girl answered, "I was here before you got here… I was just… erm…"

"It's okay," Hermione said quickly, "I don't mind; it's just… I want to know who you are."

The girl's voice turned bitter as she laughed, and it became more familiar to Hermione, though she still couldn't place just who it belonged to. "Trust me, you don't."

"Honestly, I don't care - "

"If you knew who I was, you'd think I was wrong in the head, or that I was playing some joke on you, or worse… just trust me, alright?"

"Well," Hermione said, slightly annoyed, "It's kind of hard to trust someone when you don't even know who she is. I just want to get to know you, alright? You're the one who sent the letter in the first place. If you love me like you say you do, you'd know that I don't like not knowing what's happening to me."

The girl's voice got softer again, though not as soft as it had been to begin with. "I do love you. And I know… but if you found out who I was before getting to know me, you'd turn me away, I'm sure of it. Think of this as, erm, that muggle term… what is it?"

Hermione furrowed her eyebrows. "What, a blind date?"

"Yes! That's it." They both giggled, and then topic after topic flowed from them.

They talked for at least half an hour, Hermione finding out as much as she could from the other girl. Nothing she was told could be used to identify her from the rest of the girls in Hogwarts, but Hermione liked knowing them all the same. Like how she loved to read, though she didn't want others to know it; it would ruin her reputation. Or how her family had so many expectations for her when it came to schooling and career choices that she sometimes wished she didn't have to listen to them just because they were her parents. And how she had both an older and younger sister; the older was 22 and an out-of-the-closet lesbian (except to her parents), who had never attended Hogwarts and had gone to Beaxbaton's instead; and the younger was 10 and acted much too old for her age. After a while, things slowed down, and a few-second silence fell.

"How…" Hermione chose her next question carefully. "How did you find out about K-Katie and me?" It was the first time since the breakup that Hermione had spoken her name, and her throat closed so that she had to force it out.

"The looks you gave her," the girl spoke slowly, as if choosing her words, "they were different than before the holiday. She'd been eyeing you for some time, but you'd never really paid any attention. And," she admitted shamefully, "I followed you once." Hermione rose her eyebrows at the fact that her admirer was also a slight stalker, but the girl misinterpreted it in the dim light. "Okay, so I followed you more than that, but that one time I was talking about… it was when I confirmed that you two were going together.

"You were kind of careless when you first started going with her, and so it was in the corridor where she had you. You were," her voice got breathier and she audibly swallowed, hard, "pressed against the wall, and she was kissing you… your hand was up her shirt and hers was down your… s-skirt…."

"Stop," Hermione interrupted. She was feeling a flush creep through her body, and her heart beat faster at the memory. It had been the first time since break they'd done anything more than snogging, and they had almost gone all the way, but Hermione had stopped her, saying that anyone could come around the corner and catch them. Hermione leant against the railing and took deep breaths, trying to calm her racing heart, and get rid of the throbbing feeling pulsing from her core.

"I'm sorry," the other girl said suddenly. Hermione looked over (as if she could see anything) and started to question the reason she was sorry, but the girl continued, "I can't do this… I have to go."

"Wait!" Hermione said, as the tip of the other girl's wand poked out from the shadows. "No, it's okay, you've nothing to be sorry for."

"I just…" it sounded as if the girl slid down the wall. "I hate thinking of you with her instead of me, but I have to admit, you're beautiful, and so is Katie Bell, and when two beautiful girls get together in a sexual way, I'm as horny as a teenaged boy." She barked a fake laugh, and Hermione offered a grin in understanding.

"Oh, trust me, love, I know what you mean… it's not that your bringing up that time was upsetting; it just… turned me on, I guess." The other girl's giggles floated from the shadows, and Hermione's heart swelled at the sound as she grinned bigger.

Hermione sat down against the railing and started to pull her hair back, suddenly feeling self-conscious of her bushy, mud-brown hair, but the other girl exclaimed, "Stop!" and Hermione froze as a pale hand emerged from the shadows, then drew back quickly. "You shouldn't be ashamed of your hair. It's beautiful, no matter what those others say."

Hermione laughed slightly. "Please, I've come to terms with the hideousness of my hair; there's no need to convince me otherwise."

"But it's not hideous," the other girl said firmly. "So what if it's a little thick? The color is perfect; a chestnut-honey color. And the curls are gorgeous; I wish I had curls - " The girl cut herself short. Hermione stored that information away for a later time.

"Thanks," Hermione said softly, and dropped her hands back to her lap. She felt a rush of heat come over her, and took her jacket off, not caring if the white shirt showed through to her green bra, or it if was a little tighter than thought it was when she got dressed that morning.

She blew a few loose strands of hair out of her face, and the other girl giggled. "Do that again?" she asked, and Hermione laughed before complying. The girl giggled softly once more before becoming seriously quiet. "Stand up?" Hermione raised an eyebrow in question but did as asked, and took a couple of steps into the shadows.

The girl's hand stopped her from coming any closer, and Hermione realized that proximity didn't help her determine any facial features, as it was still dark in the corner. The girl's hand trailed up Hermione's neck lightly, leaving her skin feeling as if on fire where skin met skin. It rubbed her cheek softly, and Hermione's breathing quickened; she could hear the other girl's quicken too. Her hand reached up to Hermione's hair and stroked it softly.

"Close your eyes," the girl whispered, and brought her other hand to stroke Hermione's arm. Hermione gasped and slowly closed her eyes. The other girl's hands both moved to either side of her neck and stroked softly, sending shivers down her arms and back.

And then the girl's lips brushed softly against hers. Just barely a touch, but it sent shockwaves throughout her body, and she lent into the girl's kiss. Hermione brought a hand up to run through the girl's hair, and found it was soft, smooth and straight, and shoulder-length. As their kiss deepened, Hermione found no glasses or anything else to identify the person by, and so she gave up finding characteristics and instead focused on the euphoria of the girl's kisses, how they made her feel even more so on heaven than Katie's kisses had. These kisses made her realize that, whoever this girl was, Hermione loved her. Was _in _love with her. Her personality was brilliantly attractive, and the way she made Hermione feel made it clear that she was in love.

The girl's hand ran down Hermione's chest and under her shirt to stroke her stomach and side. Hermione gasped, and felt the girl's tongue slip inside her mouth. Hermione brought her other hand up around to the other girl's back, and stroked under her shirt in soft circles, sliding lower and lower to the waistband of the girl's denim pants. The girl moaned softly, and pressed Hermione closer to her.

"Hermione?" a voice called. The other girl drew back sharply, and they both gasped at the sound. It was Ginny, Hermione would recognize her voice anywhere. Hermione whispered to the girl, "Wait, I can have her go away, don't worry."

But the girl said, "Till next time, my love." And called a name that sounded strangely like that of a house elf, and then she was gone.

* * *

**Well, what do y'all think? Hope it was worth the wait! Feedback will be greatly appreciated! Thanks!**


	3. New Beginnings and Endings

**Hey, relatively soon update I guess. Please read and review, and maybe I'll update this quickly all the time ^^.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

"Hermione, I know you're there."

Hermione turned to face the redhead with a straight face, showing neither excitement nor depression. "Hey, Gin," she said. "How'd you know I was up here?"

"I followed you for a bit after you left. Saw you walking towards the tower. Thought you needed some alone time for a bit, not that you're not getting plenty as it is, but apparently I was wrong. I heard someone else up here. Who's with you, Hermione?" She glanced behind Hermione to the shadows. "Is there a _shadow _spell on that corner?" she asked incredulously. "What the hell are you doing that would need a shadow spell?"

Hermione sighed and tried to avoid the questions. "Look, Gin, I was just up here for some fresh air. I was about to come down so we could have our talk."

"Yeah, Hermione. Right. I know you weren't planning to come." Hermione looked on without saying anything. "Hermione… I worry about you. You haven't been yourself lately, and I know it wasn't all Ron's fault, because you were acting strange before then. Just tell me what's wrong, Hermione; I don't understand why you think you can't tell me."

"It's just," Hermione said, sighing, "I want to tell you, Gin, but I know you'd be upset."

"You don't know that for sure, Hermione. You'll never know unless you just _tell me_."

"Gin, you wouldn't understand - "

"Hermione, I care about you," she blurted, louder than Hermione thought she intended it to be, for she turned red in the face, but didn't look ashamed.

"You know I care for you too, Gin." Ginny closed her eyes and shook her head.

"No, Hermione, you don't understand! I," she stepped closer, within inches of Hermione, "_care _about you."

Hermione's eyes widened slightly. "Gin…" she started to say, but Ginny pressed her lips to hers, and Hermione felt something.

It was different than both Katie and her admirer, but not better than the latter. Rather, it was on the same level of bliss, but Ginny's kiss was an icy ecstasy instead of the fire her admirer had spread across her body, and Hermione couldn't help the soft whimper that escaped from her lips.

Ginny pulled back slightly and looked up at Hermione, who still had her eyes closed. "Hermione, I love you. As more than just a sister," she added, with a smile in her voice. Hermione opened her eyes and looked into Ginny's.

"Ginny," she said softly, with a small smile, as she stroked the side of the younger girl's face slowly, "how long have you felt this way?"

"Erm," Ginny seemed slightly uncomfortable. "A while," she finally said, carefully.

But Hermione wanted to know, "Just how long is a while?"

"Erm," Ginny weakly said, "about since… I met you?"

Hermione's smile enlarged. "Gin! Talk about keeping secrets! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I thought you liked boys! I didn't want to come right up to you and be rejected because you were _straight_."

"Well, you came up to me right now," Hermione took hold of Ginny's hand. "How did you know I was into girls now?"

Ginny rolled her eyes at this. "Hermione, I've kept many a relationship secret because they were with girls, and I've gotten my heart broken plenty of times by them. Being dumped by a girl is a lot different than being dumped by a boy. Last week, I knew you'd been broken hearted, and by a girl, but I still don't know who she was." She squeezed Hermione's hand. "You can tell me, you know. I've kept relationships behind your back; I'm not upset that you kept one behind mine." Hermione squeezed back and smiled a little as tears came to her eyes.

"It was, erm, Katie. Bell, I mean." Hermione saw a flash of anger in Ginny's eyes, but she calmed down to ask, "How long?"

"Since we got back from holiday," Hermione started again. She relayed the entire story to Ginny, up to what happened in the library, minus the, er, racy material. By the end, Hermione's tears were flowing freely, and Ginny was trying to wipe them away, uttering soothing nothings to her.

"Hermione it's okay. It was a relationship, but now it's over, and you've got to move on." Hermione looked at Ginny and nodded.

"Are you what's next for me?" Hermione asked.

"Only if you want me to be," was Ginny's answer. "Do you?"

To that, Hermione's answer was a kiss.

* * *

Hermione went to bed with both of the girls on her mind. Her thoughts kept jumping back and forth and mixing together so Hermione didn't know who she was thinking about when….

Now Hermione would be lying if she said she didn't feel bothered by the fact that she had just kissed one girl, who was irrevocably, obsessed-in-love with her, and then went right on to kiss another girl who was also irrevocably, but not-so-obsessed, in love with her. Not to mention the fact that she was confused as to which girl she was more attracted to. Both of the girls made her feel something bigger and better than Katie had ever given her, and part of her wished that she could have both of the girls.

But the other, more reasonable, part of her knew that she had to choose.

But what would she tell Ginny? Did she think they were in a relationship now? Was she going to go around with Hermione, wanting to hold hands, and expecting kisses whenever they were alone? Hermione just didn't know how she would go about that. She knew it was unfair to her admirer. The girl would probably follow her and Ginny, and then never speak to Hermione again.

She wouldn't be able to handle that, she was already so far in love with this girl… and she didn't even know her name. She had to bring them both together, or something… Hermione just didn't know what to do.

Well, she could start by figuring out who her admirer was…

She was pale, which ruled out the Patil twins and every other dark-skinned girl in Hogwarts. She had straight hair that fell to her shoulders… she was slim, fit. She didn't read in public (which didn't really help much, considering there were plenty of girls who didn't) and she watched Hermione during classes.

The girl must have been in most of Hermione's classes, since she knew her habits so well. She mentally went through her schedule to find which House she had the most classes with. There was Gryffindor, of course, and then there was… Slytherin? No, it couldn't be. All Slytherins hated Gryffindors and muggle-born's to boot. But…

Wasn't that what the girl had said she would think if Hermione knew who she was? What was it she'd said… _"If you knew who I was, you'd think I was wrong in the head, or that I was playing some joke on you, or worse…" _Playing jokes on Gryffindors, the Trio in particular, was very Slytherin indeed.

Oh Merlin, Hermione had fallen in love with both a Slytherin and a Gryffindor. If Hermione's decision was the Slytherin girl, and Ginny found out, Hermione knew that Ginny would never forgive her. To be turned down for a Slytherin? The Gryffindors would probably ban her from the tower, force her to eat at the Slytherin table, to sleep in the Room of Requirement…

Okay, so her imagination was running along with her fear, happily into the sunset at lightning speed.

But she knew for sure that they would all at least be angry at her for "betraying" their House.

But what if she chose Ginny? The Slytherin would be heart broken, she was sure; it had taken her this long to say anything about her being in love. But Ginny had loved her for years and just now brought up the courage to speak out.

She'd have to speak to them both, individually, she decided, to tell them all that was going on, and that she just needed to sort her thoughts out. But that would come in the morning, because it was now 11:30 at night, and Hermione was exhausted from the long day. She placed the thought in her head that everything could be solved tomorrow, and finally fell asleep.

* * *

Hermione woke from her (immensely erotic) dream to warm breath on her ear that seemed to form words. "Wake up, love. Time to have some fun." It was Ginny, she knew it then. Hermione shuddered and moaned when she felt Ginny's tongue trace the outside of her ear. She smirked slightly and turned to her, her eyes now open. Ginny smirked, crawled on top of Hermione and kissed her deeply. Shivers of pleasure shot down Hermione's spine, and she moaned again before remembering her admirer.

"Wait, Gin," she said, pushing her away slightly. "We have to talk about this."

Ginny, still playful, answered, "I think we did enough talking last night." She slid her hand under Hermione's shirt and kissed her again, causing Hermione to temporarily lose her concentration. Her admirer's laugh rang through her ears, and Hermione pulled back sharply.

"Ginny, I'm serious."

"So am I. Merlin, loosen up, Hermione. Just… have… fun…." Ginny traced patterns on Hermione's stomach, sliding lower and lower, and kissed her again. Hermione lost herself for a good few minutes before the memory of her admirer's touch sprang into her head, along with the sound of her voice and the truth in it when she said she loved her. Hermione flipped Ginny over and held her still.

"Ginny, there's someone else." Hermione felt a pang of guilt as Ginny's face went pale and a shocked expression overcame her.

"W-what?" she asked, sitting up on her elbows. "Who?" Hermione leaned back, sitting on her legs.

"Erm, you see that's kind of the problem," she said, blushing. "I don't know."

Ginny moved her legs from under Hermione and curled away from her. Hermione swallowed hard at the loss of contact. "Explain."

And so Hermione relayed every event to Ginny; all that had happened from the letter to last night spilled from Hermione's mouth in a rush as she avoided Ginny's eyes and reaction. When she'd finished, Hermione closed her eyes and awaited the younger girl's reaction. When none came, she opened her eyes and looked up at Ginny. "Gin? Say something?" she said softly.

"I…" Ginny bit her lip. "Why didn't you tell me last night, Hermione?" she asked, harsher than what Hermione had expected. "I was so afraid you would reject me, and when you didn't last night… Merlin, I got my hopes up that you actually wanted me, wanted to _be _with me, and now there's someone else? How could you do that to me, Hermione?"

Hermione shook her head quickly. Ginny stood up from the bed. "No, no Ginny wait." Ginny didn't stop walking. Hermione couldn't bear to see her hurt; she knew she had to make a choice now or lose Ginny forever. "Ginny, I was going to tell her today that we were together," she said loudly. Ginny stopped just meters from the door.

"And how were you planning to do that if you don't know who she is?" she asked, her voice losing its harshness.

"I figured out what House she's in." She got up herself and slowly walked over to Ginny, talking softly. "I have a vague idea of what she looks like; at breakfast today I could probably narrow it down to one or two people. If I can't do that, I can always send her a letter like she did me. Either way, she'll know that I'm with you. That I love you." And she knew that it was true; she did love Ginny, as much as Ginny loved her, and she wanted to see where this could go.

"Gin, I want to be with you," she continued, taking her hand from behind, "and I don't want to make the same mistakes with you that I did with Katie. I don't care if the others know about us if you don't." Ginny slowly turned around to face Hermione as she spoke. "Hell, the whole school can know we're together; I'm not ashamed of it." She looked into Ginny's watery eyes through her own vision blurred by tears. "Ginny, will you be my girlfriend?" She squeezed her hand softly, and Ginny took her other hand in hers as she grinned and nodded.

Ginny jumped and threw her arms around Hermione's neck, burying her face into her shoulder, and Hermione wrapped hers around Ginny's waist. After a few moments, Ginny pulled back, keeping her arms around Hermione's shoulders. "I'm sorry for scaring you like that," Hermione said. Ginny smiled again and shook her head slightly.

"It's okay, I get it now." She bit her lip and fiddled with Hermione's collar. "Gods, 'Mione, you've no idea how long I've been waiting for this." Hermione smirked.

"How long?" she asked, bringing her right hand up to stroke along Ginny's jaw line. Ginny smiled one last time and shook her head softly, leaning in closer.

"Too long," she said before their lips met in a soft kiss.

* * *

By the time they went down to the Common Room, everyone else had already gone to breakfast, so they took each other's hands and walked out through the portrait door slowly, swinging their hands slightly and bumping shoulders occasionally, enjoying the shared kisses and time to themselves.

They arrived before the open Hall doors and looked at each other, nervousness in both their eyes, but not doubt, before walking through the entryway, hand-in-hand.

It was mostly Gryffindors who stared, the majority of them sixth-years who were shocked about Hermione. A few of the fifth-years, Ginny's classmates, who glanced up to see them, simply smiled at the scene; Ginny'd probably come out to them ages ago so they were used to the idea.

The two took their usual seats at the table, Hermione across from Ron and Ginny across from Harry, both the girls facing in the direction of the Ravenclaw and Slytherin tables. Hermione glanced at the latter, but decided to deal with Harry and Ron's reactions before searching for her admirer.

Hermione smiled at the boys and said her "good morning" like she did every day. Ron, who was looking both suspicious and confused at the same time, mumbled through his mouthful of waffle what meant, "Why are you two holding hands?"

To this, Ginny smiled and said, "Because Hermione's my girlfriend." Both the boys' mouths dropped open. Dean, who was sitting beside Harry said, "She's your _what_?"

Hermione jumped in. "I'm Ginny's girlfriend, and Ginny's mine. Really, it's not that complicated to understand."

Ron, apparently too shocked for his brain to function up to speed, said, "But you're _girls_!"

Ginny rolled her eyes and said, sarcastically and with a meaningful glance Hermione's way, "Yes, Ron. Trust me, we know very well that the two of us are girls." She smirked and then mocked seriousness. "Now I don't know about you guys, but I had a _very _long night, and I'm just _starving_." Harry, who hadn't said anything, shut his mouth and concentrated on his plate of food. Ron slowly went back to eating (he never could resist food for long) but repeatedly glanced up at the two girls as they gathered their food and ate. The girls smirked at each other before falling silent and concentrating on their food.

As Hermione ate, she searched the Slytherin table, looking at all the fifth, sixth, and seventh year girls and ruling them out one by one by their height, weight, skin color, and hair length. She got towards the end of the table and her eyes landed on Pansy Parkinson, who, for once, wasn't hanging off of Draco Malfoy's shoulder. Malfoy looked rather perturbed at this, and as he ate, shot curious, almost angry glances at her. Hermione wondered at this but kept looking on, and landed eyes on Millicent Bulstrode. She'd lost a lot of weight in the past year; instead of the blocky figure she'd had for the past five years, she'd come back from summer with an athlete's body. She still wasn't the prettiest of the bunch, but it was a huge improvement on her part.

Hermione scrutinized her, though. Her voice was too deep, her hair had a slight waviness in it that ruled her out. Hermione found herself mentally sighing in relief, and then chastised herself; Millicent probably wasn't even that bad once you got past the gruffness of her physique and voice and… personality.

Hermione made it through all of the girls in the table and had not found anyone who matched the girl she was with last night. She furrowed her brow in confusion, and skimmed over the crowd again. Again, her eyes landed on Parkinson for a split second longer than the others, and then passed over her, but then they jumped back to her.

The girl was studying her plate, resting her forehead against the palm of her hand, and when she blinked, she blinked slowly and hard, as if being frustrated by something. As Hermione looked her over, she could have sworn that she saw the girl blush, but quickly dismissed it. Malfoy had pointedly tapped Parkinson on the shoulder and stood, which made her head jump up, and she slowly rested her fork on the table before standing to follow him.

As she walked, Hermione could see she was fit, but not muscled like Millicent. Her hair was blond and beautiful, falling to her shoulders in pin-straight layers. Hermione remembered the countless times she'd been threatened by Parkinson in the corridors, the harshness of her voice as she said, "Watch it, Mudblood."

Hermione's breath caught. She remembered the harshness of the girl's voice last night when talking about her identity.

Was her admirer Pansy Parkinson?

Hermione couldn't pursue the thought any longer, for Ginny had noticed her staring at the Slytherin table and caught her attention before hissing in her ear, "She's a _Slytherin? _You kissed a bloody _Slytherin_." Hermione sighed and took Ginny's hand between them on the bench, starting to explain her reasoning for thinking so, but Ginny noticed where she'd been looking before, and her eyes widened, no longer angry, it seemed, but more in shock. "It was _Parkinson_? Merlin, I knew she wasn't straight, but who knew she'd been in love with you?" Hermione furrowed her brow again.

"Wait, how'd you know she wasn't straight?"

"Well, you see how uncomfortable she is around Malfoy, and whenever any other boy says _anything _to her, she looks disgusted," Ginny stated as if it were obvious. If Hermione had paid Parkinson any prior attention, she probably would have noticed these things. "That, love, is a girl horrified by even the _concept _of being straight." Hermione rolled her eyes and smirked.

"I don't even know for sure if it _is _her, Gin. She's just the best guess I have right now."

All of this conversation was said in whispers, so no one else could overhear, which brought on more stares from the girls' fellow Gryffindors. Hermione glanced up around them and turned back to Ginny. "You done yet?" she asked.

"Yeah, pretty much," the redhead answered. "Why, you're ready to leave?"

Hermione glanced around them again and nodded. Ginny seemed to understand her reason and took her hand, walking out the Hall just as they had come in, hand-in-hand. When they exited through the doors, Hermione asked, "Can we just take a walk around, maybe?" Ginny nodded with a "yeah, sure" and they walked out onto the grounds, by the lake. After a few minutes of just walking around the edge with Ginny's head on Hermione's shoulder, they stopped to sit under a tree (they'd passed the Whomping Willow already, so this was a normal tree).

"Gin?" Hermione said after a while.

"Yeah?"

"You never, erm, had a… _thing _with Parkinson, did you?" Hermione waited nervously for Ginny's reply.

"Well, define 'thing'," she said finally. Hermione sighed.

"Oh, Ginny…"

"Okay, Hermione, look. It was nothing, okay? She basically kidnapped me, pulled me into a broom closet, I didn't even know it was her before she'd started snogging me. It was a heat of the moment thing for me, okay? It didn't mean anything."

"But you call her Pansy. Not Parkinson. Pansy."

"Yeah, well… afterwards, I told her that we couldn't be together, you know, because I didn't know her really, and I don't like dating people I don't know. But we kept up a sort of friendship for a while. Just talked and stuff. That girl has a _lot _of problems. She just needed someone to talk to. Said she was in love with a girl she could never have. I kind of related to her on that front, you know? Like I said, it wasn't a re_la_tionship-relationship, just a, erm… confidence. With benefits when I wasn't already with someone. "

"Yeah, alright." Hermione did sort of understand that, but what she didn't understand was why Ginny had lied to her in the Hall. She voiced the question aloud.

"Well, yeah, we were whispering, but what if someone _did _overhear? They'd kill me for sure." To this, Hermione nodded, so she continued. "But anyway, I'm not mad at her for falling in love with you like that. It's not like I can blame her," she said, smiling up at Hermione.

Hermione looked down at her with a grin and kissed her gently. Ginny brought a hand up to Hermione's cheek and stroked it gently. Hermione moved so she was on top of Ginny, pressing her against the tree. She felt it, that icy need that she'd felt both last night and this morning, and deepened the kiss, running her hands through Ginny's hair and down to her chest. Ginny's back arched into Hermione as she moaned, and she slid a hand up Hermione's sweater and scraped her nails lightly along her back. Hermione started to pull up the hem of Ginny's shirt, but the sound of footsteps and the gasps of someone crying made her stop and pull back reluctantly. Ginny groaned in confusion and frustration, and turned to see where Hermione was looking.

Pansy Parkinson was running towards them, tears streaking mascara across her cheeks, gasping from both the exercise and crying. Ginny sat up and furrowed her brow. "Pansy?" she said as the girl came near, but she didn't seem to hear and ran past them. "Pansy!" she called again, but still to no avail; the girl kept running. "Shit," Ginny murmured, and both the girls stood, Ginny immediately running after her. Hermione looked on in confusion, and Ginny called back, "Something happened; she's going to the docks; she's going to jump in the Lake. I have to stop her." Hermione ran after her, catching up quickly. Ginny's breathing was already labored, and she gasped to Hermione, "Go stop her, you're faster. I'll catch up."

Hermione nodded and ran ahead, pumping her legs as fast as she could and slowly gaining on the Slytherin girl. Parkinson was a few meters from the docks, and Hermione was still behind her. She called her, "Parkinson, stop!" The girl stumbled, but picked up speed again. Hermione made it behind her and grabbed her arm, turning her around to face her. "Pansy, what the hell is wrong with you? Why were you going to jump?"

"W-what do you care, G-Granger?" Pansy choked out through her tears and gasps. "I thought the Gryffindor Princess would love to be down one Slytherin."

"Don't say that," she barked firmly, gripping her arm tighter. After a few second pause, she added, "I know it's you, Pansy."

The girl's eyes widened slightly, but then she regained her faux-angry composure and snapped, "I don't know what you're talking about, Granger."

"Oh, come on, Pansy; that's the oldest line any liar could use. It was you on the balcony, wasn't it?" She looked directly into Pansy's eyes, daring her to lie again. Pansy looked down and away. Hermione studied her expression for a moment, loosening her grip on the girl's arm, before saying, "If this has to do with me and Ginny - "

She was interrupted by a sharp bark of laughter as the other girl bitterly looked up at her. "You don't know the half of it, Hermione." Hermione's brow furrowed again, and she started to question the meaning of the statement, but then Ginny caught up to them.

"Pansy, what the hell…?" She cut herself off as Pansy started crying again, and pulled her friend into a tight hug. "Pansy, what happened," she asked softly. She looked over the girl's shoulder at Hermione, mouthing the words "I'm sorry" to her. Hermione nodded in understanding, and started to walk away, but not before she head Pansy answer, "Draco…."

* * *

**So? Whatcha think? Hermione now knows for sure who her admirer is, but she can't be with her because she's with Ginny now.... and what exactly does Malfoy do to Pansy to make her so upset? Da da.... daaaaa. lol So I'll try to update soon like I did this time. I got about a week left of break , and after then i might not be able to update so much, school usually keeps me rly busy. But PLEASE READ AND REVIEW. **


	4. Help Gone Wrong

A week went by with Hermione in glorious bliss by Ginny's side. They'd gotten used to the stares, and to public displays of affection. They'd walk each other to their classes when their paths crossed and give quick kisses before the classroom door. Once, Ginny took Hermione by the collar and dragged her away from the door for a quick snogging session before the clock chimed. Hermione had reluctantly pulled away and was the last to enter the classroom, having everyone turn to see who was late. Hermione had to bite the inside of her lip to keep from beaming around the room, but couldn't help the small smile that rested on her lips for the duration of the class.

They had their small arguments, as any couple would, but they made up in the end, always in Hermione's room, under her covers. They never went too far; Hermione didn't really feel comfortable with that just yet.

Pansy, on the other hand, was avoiding them both. Both of the girls worried about her, but knew that if they tried to help, they would put the girl in more trouble with Malfoy.

Hermione was currently wandering aimlessly down the corridors, thinking about what had happened last week.

Draco Malfoy was hurting Pansy Parkinson mentally, and possibly physically. What exactly he did to her, Hermione had no idea, but she knew that she didn't like seeing the girl like that. Most of her hoped that Ginny could talk to her soon, get her to tell them what he'd been doing to her. After Hermione had left them at the Lake, Ginny said Pansy calmed down and left, without answering any questions.

The other part of her suspected that Parkinson would try something on Ginny.

Hermione shook her head clear of that thought. Ginny wouldn't betray her like that, especially when they'd been going out for barely a week. Hermione trusted Ginny, and as much as she was feeling suspicious now, she knew part of her trusted Parkinson, too.

The part that was in love with her.

God, she had to get rid of that feeling, she thought as she rounded the corner, but her thoughts were cut short as she ran (literally) into none other than Draco Malfoy. She was going to mumble and apology and brush it off, but then he had to go and say:

"Hey, Mudblood, running around without your little girlfriend to watch your step for you? You do know Mudbloods and Weasels don't match, don't you?" Hermione stopped and turned around to stare at him.

"What did you do to Parkinson, Malfoy?" She saw a flash of something (she didn't know what) flicker in Malfoy's eyes, but he brushed it off and smirked.

"Well, Granger, I _do _her every night, and sometimes during the day, not like it's any of _your _business. But as for doing something _to _her… now that's something different entirely."

Hermione's anger flared and she reached for her wand, holding it by her side threateningly. "What did you do to her, Malfoy?" She raised her wand slowly, aiming it between his eyes, which grew slightly wide. "You hurt her somehow, now what did you do?" Malfoy narrowed his eyes.

"Come now, Granger. What's she matter to you? She's a Slytherin, _the enemy_ as far as Gryffindors are concerned. Let's just calm down a little and talk." He reached into his pocket.

"Expelliarmus!" Hermione screamed, disarming him and making his eyes go wider than before. Hermione took steps forward, and he backed against the wall. "She matters more to me than she does to you, bastard. She deserves better than you, she doesn't deserve to be _raped _every night - "

"Oh, please, she enjoys it."

"Shut up!" Hermione stuck her wand under Malfoy's chin and stood on her toes to be at eye level with him. "You know she doesn't. Let me guess. When the whole thing with you started, she was fighting you off." Malfoy rolled his eyes. "Or… or she enjoyed it at first, but then things got a little too rough. She told you to stop, and you wouldn't listen." Malfoy's eyes darkened as she spoke, and Hermione knew she was right on target. "She tried to push you away, and you slapped her around. Now she's too afraid to do anything; she probably doesn't even let you know she enjoys it, does she? She doesn't moan like she did at first, doesn't beg for anything… just lies there. Every time. And for you, she's all you have, and you know it, so you just have to stick with her. Threaten her every day and night so she's too scared to go to anyone - "

"Shut up!" he exclaimed, fury in his eyes. He grabbed her collar and slammed her against the wall, knocking the breath out of her lungs and her head against the wall, causing her to drop her wand with a clatter. "You don't know what you're talking about, Mudblood. You're just a little dyke, don't even know how to enjoy a _man_. I'll show you what you're missing, Mudblood." Her voice failed her as she tried to scream, and all she could do was scream to herself. _Help, _she thought. _Somebody please help me… _Hermione tried to bring her knee up where she knew it would hurt, but he moved back and spread her legs, standing between them. Hermione felt a tear slide down her cheek as she struggled, heard him unbuckle his belt, felt him push her skirt up, winced as he slammed his mouth onto hers. And then he -

"Drakie!" called a high-pitched voice from her left. Malfoy turned, and so did Hermione, and through her tears she could make out the figure of Pansy, running towards them, a huge smile on her face. A smile that didn't reach her eyes. She pressed against Malfoy's side and put a hand on his chest. "Oh, Drakie, have you been drinking again?" she said in a faux-flirtatious tone. She glanced at Hermione meaningfully, and firmly pulled Malfoy away. Tears continued to stream down Hermione's face silently as she dropped down to the floor and slid down the wall. "Let's go back to your room and have some fun, eh Drakie?" Pansy and Malfoy were walking away now, his arm around her shoulders and hers around his waist. Hermione couldn't believe he'd gone that easily. After a few meters, Pansy turned back and painfully looked at Hermione.

She saw so much in that look. Love, remorse, guilt, pain, want, fear… Hermione wanted to chase after her and bring her back, but she knew if she did, Malfoy would just hurt them both, probably more than he almost had to her, and more than he was going to hurt Pansy in a few moments. Hermione cursed herself as her "Gryffindor Courage" seemed to disappear. Hermione's tears turned to full-on sobs as it sunk in just what he had been about to do. She put her head in her hands and fell into her fear.

"Pansy!" Someone screamed. Hermione's head shot up. It wasn't _someone_, it was Ginny, her Ginny, running from the same way Pansy had come earlier. "Hermione!" Ginny screamed when she saw her, and knelt down beside her, wrapping her arms around her lover.

Hermione buried her face into Ginny's shoulder and continued sobbing, her partner's soothing words only a slight comfort to what had just happened. "Oh, Gin, he was going to - to…"

"Shh," Ginny said softly. "It's okay now; he's gone. Don't worry, love, I won't let him hurt you, I promise."

After Hermione stopped crying, she told Ginny all that had just happened, and questioned where Ginny had been. Ginny told her how she had finally caught some alone time with Pansy, how they had been talking on the docks about what'd happened with Malfoy, when Pansy suddenly looked away like she'd heard something, then got up and started running. Ginny'd started to follow, but Pansy had hexed her, freezing her on the spot, and after apologizing had run off into the castle.

Hermione rubbed her eyes, and Ginny stroked her cheek. "It's okay love. You're alright. Just trust me, okay, Malfoy'll get what's coming to him."

Hermione shook her head. "Gin, don't do anything stupid. I don't want you to get hurt."

"I won't, 'Mione."

"Promise me." Ginny paused.

"I promise, 'Mione." She lightly kissed her on the lips. "I love you." She smiled slightly, and Hermione couldn't help but smile back.

"I love you, too," she said.

And they both stood, Hermione on shaky legs, and walked back to the Common Room, hand-in-hand, Hermione's head on Ginny's shoulder.

* * *

With the end of the week came a Hogsmeade weekend. When it had been announced, Hermione asked Ginny to go with her on their first official date, to which Ginny had answered with a beaming smile and another snogging session.

When Hermione woke up on Saturday, she jumped out of bed and opened her dresser, searching through all of her clothes for her most girlish outfit. After successfully finding an outfit she deemed appropriate, she gathered them on her arm and headed down to the Prefect's bathroom. She placed her clothes beside the tub and filled it with lavender as she had before. She pulled her shirt over her head and turned to place it beside her other clothes, but gasped when she saw Pansy sitting against the wall across the room. Her head was tilted to the side, and there was a blank, depressed look on her face. Her knees were brought up to her chest and her arms were resting on top of them.

"Pansy?" Hermione said tentatively. When she got no answer, she ran over to the girl and knelt beside her, forgetting temporarily that she was just in her bra and pants. "Pansy, what happened?" She tilted the girl's face up to hers, and was scared when her eyes didn't follow for a few moments. "Pansy, come on love. You need to talk to me." Pansy blinked slowly, staring back at Hermione blankly. Hermione could feel her hands shaking; it scared her. She clenched them into fists and bit her lip, trying to decide what to do. She put Pansy's arm around her shoulder as she said, "Come on, love, we're going to the Hospital Wing."

"No!" Pansy shrieked, kicking and flailing her arms, nearly hitting Hermione in the process. Hermione could see her eyes were squeezed shut; she was probably reliving whatever had happened with Malfoy. Somehow, she just knew Malfoy had caused this. Hermione reached out and grabbed Pansy's wrists, holding them still.

"Pansy, it's me," she said, as calm as she could manage. She brought one of Pansy's hands to her cheek and held it there. "It's me, Hermione, you see?" Hermione used her left hand to try to hold Pansy's legs still. When she kept kicking, Hermione straddled her and leant to whisper in her ear, "It's Hermione, love, it's okay. You're fine." Pansy's hands clenched into fists, scraping Hermione's cheek, but she didn't notice. She put her hands on either side of Pansy's face and had her face forward, but her eyes were still closed.

"Pansy," she said, louder. Pansy sobbed, tears streaming down her face, and Hermione leaned forward and kissed her gently. The girl froze, as had been expected, and Hermione pulled back before the fire--that goddamned _fire_--she felt took control. Pansy was still crying, her eyes still closed, but she wasn't fighting anymore. Hermione stroked her cheeks and under her eyes softly. "Pansy…" she said softly, and the girl's eyes shot open. "You're alright. He won't hurt you again. I promise." Pansy whimpered, but nodded slightly, and Hermione brought the girl's head to her shoulder, where she stayed until she calmed down.

Needless to say Hermione was about half an hour late for her and Ginny's date. After taking Pansy to the Hospital Wing, she'd run back to take a quicker shower than she'd had in mind, changing into the outfit she'd previously picked out, and running to the Entrance Hall, where Ginny was waiting against a wall for her. Hermione called her name, causing her to look up and smile. Hermione reached her, grabbing her hands and kissing her deeply. "I'm _so _sorry I'm late," she said, but she couldn't help but feel guilty that she had kissed two different girls today.

"It's alright love, I've only been here for a few. What - what's this?" Ginny put her hand to where Hermione had been scratched on her cheek, and Hermione winced away.

"I don't want to ruin this date, love. Can't I tell you when we get back? You know, after we, er, take care of each other?" Hermione leaned in and kissed Ginny passionately, pushing her against the wall, and only when Ginny moaned did she pull back.

Ginny kept her eyes closed, and her eyebrows raised in bliss as she nodded. She opened her eyes and smiled, saying, "That sounds good to me." And though she glance warily at the scars again, she and Hermione walked into Hogsmeade, hand-in-hand as always.

They were in the Three Broomsticks, away from everyone else in a dark corner booth. The two girls sat across from each other, sipping their butterbeers and enjoying each other's conversation and company. Ginny's back was to the door, and Hermione was thankful for this as she saw Katie Bell walk through the doorway, her eyes frantic, wild and confused, with red rings around them from apparent crying. Hermione's brow furrowed as Katie started towards the two girls, and Hermione turned back to Ginny.

"Now, love, I just have to warn you--don't do anything rash, alright?"

Ginny looked confused. "What are you talking about Hermione?" Hermione glanced over at Katie, who was now mere meters away, and Ginny turned to follow her sight. Ginny's hands clenched into fists above the table, and Hermione reached over and took one hand in hers, trying to unfold her lover's fingers. Katie, meanwhile, arrived at their table.

"H-Hermione, can I talk to you? P-please?" Hermione gave her a once-over and saw she was nearly on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

"Sorry, Katie, I'm in the middle of something right now. We can, er, talk when we get back to the castle, alright?"

Katie frantically shook her head, and her hands lifted to her hair. "No. No, no, no--Hermione, I _really _need to--to talk to you! Please, you don't understand!" Her voice rose in volume and pitch as she continued. "Hermione I don't know what to _do_! I can't _take it _anymore!" Katie's fists clenched in her hair. While Ginny tried hard to ignore the woman that had broken her love's heart, the others in the pub turned their heads to witness the hysteric girl. "Hermione _please_, I--"

Hermione stood quickly. Turning to Ginny, she said, "I'm sorry love; I'll be right back, I promise," before taking Katie by the arm and leading her into the--thankfully empty--lavatories. Hermione leaned Katie against the sinks and tried to wipe away her tears. "Alright, Katie, speak up now; what is it that's bothering you so much?" Katie shook her head once more before looking into Hermione's eyes.

"I made a mistake, Hermione, it was a big, _big _mistake."

Hermione's brow furrowed. "What was--?"

"I shouldn't have broken up with you. It was the _worst _mistake of my life, Hermione, and I'm sorry. I want you back, please come back to me, please…." Katie's face crumpled into tears again and Hermione wondered at how weak the girl seemed. Hermione sighed and shook her head.

"I'm sorry Katie. For one thing, I'm over you. I have been for a while now, and I don't love you any more. I have Ginny now, and I'm in love with her--"

Katie started laughing--admittedly hysterically--before her voice turned harsh, like she was proving Hermione wrong. "No, see, no! It's _not like that_! No, because you're going to break up with her!"

"Why would I--"

"See, I figured, that you don't even have to come back to me if you don't want, as long as you're not with _her_, right? So, I figured that, if I could find something to make her, you know, _believe_ you weren't in love with her--right?--then you wouldn't get to be with her anymore!" Before Hermione could interrupt again, Katie continued with her ramblings.

"See, I figured, that you'd been staring at Parkinson an awful lot, in the Hall and stuff, so what if I, you know, caught you doing something with her? So, you know, I figured I'd follow you, and I did, this morning, I followed you into the Prefect's bathrooms, and I saw you go over to Parkinson and try to, you know, get her to snap out of whatever the hell was wrong with her, and then you didn't have a shirt on, and you kissed her, and I took the picture, so, see, I have a picture of _you _kissing _another girl _that isn't _Weasley_, _while_ you're dating _Weasley_. So, if you won't break up with her, then I'm gonna, you know, show her the picture, and then _she'll _break up with _you_, you know?" Katie stopped talking now, but she started frantically biting her nails and looking to Hermione for a reaction.

Hermione took this time to analyze everything that Katie had said, and how stable she was at the moment. Hermione had to wonder how the breakup had affected Katie so much; she surely wasn't that important! But, nonetheless, she believed that Katie would go so far to do this, if in fact she did have the picture.

As if by reading Hermione's mind, Katie took out a folded photograph from her pocket and handed it to Hermione. The moving shot was longer than most--about twenty seconds in length--and lasted from when Hermione initiated the kiss (not showing Pany's fighting) to about two seconds after she pulled back; it showed Pansy clearly relaxing in Hermione's embrace, and her arms falling slowly to Hermione's waist. When Hermione pulled back, she whispered something, and then leaned in to kiss Pansy again, replaying the twenty-second recording. Before Hermione could rip or crumple the photograph, Katie snatched it back and placed it in her pocket.

"See," she started in again, "I know you, Hermione." She sounded relatively calmer, now that she had an idea of Hermione's reaction. "And I _know _that you would rather have Weasley think you just didn't love her anymore than have her think you cheated on her. I also know that _you _know if Weasley were to see this photograph, she would go after Parkinson, and it most likely would _not _end well."

Hermione's head dropped and she sighed before nodding reluctantly. "Alright, Katie. I'll break up with her. Just don't show that picture to anyone." Hermione turned to leave, but Katie started talking again.

"One more thing, Hermione." Oh yeah, she was _definitely_ fine now. "Kiss me." At Hermione's aghast look, she added, "If you won't get back with me, at least kiss me one more time, or I swear I will march right out there and hand this picture over."

Hermione sighed. "You're the one who broke up with me, you know. Two weeks ago, you could've had as many kisses as you wanted."

She walked up to the taller girl, who was still leaning against the sinks, but more casually now instead of in need of support. Hermione put her hands on either side of Katie's body, trying to keep away as much as possible. She looked up at Katie, whose lips were parted slightly in anticipation, and leaned up to lightly brush their lips together.

Or at least, that's what she'd intended to do. Katie obviously had other plans.

Katie brought one hand behind Hermione's head, shoving their mouths together, and her other hand to Hermione's bum, bringing their bodies together. Hermione tried to push the older girl away, but Katie turned and slammed her against the wall. For a few seconds, Hermione continued to struggle, but then realized that she was going to have to break up with Ginny in a few minutes anyway. She felt the familiar stirrings inside her that Katie usually caused, and though it wasn't near as pleasurable as Pansy and Ginny's kisses. It wasn't like Hermione would have to force herself through everything.

As Katie pulled back to start sucking on Hermione neck and earlobe sensually, Hermione managed to gasp out, "How far is this 'one last kiss' going to go?"

"As far as I want it to," Katie growled in her ear. Hermione whimpered as Katie roughly pushed her into a stall and shut the door.

She pushed Hermione down onto the toilet and straddled her, pulling her shirt over her head and roughly groping her breasts through her bra. Hermione's breath caught at the familiar actions, and Katie lifted Hermione's skirt with her other hand, grinding down onto Hermione's cloth-covered center with her denim-covered own, and Hermione let out a moan.

As Katie pulled Hermione into another forceful kiss, shoving her tongue into the younger girl's mouth, the door opened, and Hermione froze. "H-Hermione? Where are you?" Ginny's voice was wary, like she almost feared the answer. Hermione was frozen; she couldn't let Ginny find her like this. The only reason (well, the only _good _reason) Hermione was doing this with Katie was so Ginny wouldn't think she'd been cheating on her, and if she saw her _with Katie_… then she would _know _she was cheating, and it all would have been for nothing.

Katie had a wicked grin on her face, and Hermione shook her head frantically, leaning up to whisper as quietly as possible in her ear, "If you just stay still and keep quiet for now, I'll fuck you all night, but if you blow this, you won't be getting any." She pulled back to see the smirk on Katie's face. She rolled her eyes before crawling under the divide and into the next stall over. She hurriedly came up with a plan, taking out her muggle music-playing device and plugging in the speakers, flushing the toilet, and walking out of the stall rocking her head to the music.

She looked up at Ginny as if just noticing she was there, and pulled her music from her ears, putting the player away. "Hey," she said, "I just had to use the loo… Katie left?"

"I wouldn't know," Ginny said bitterly. "What happened?"

"Erm, I'm not sure really," Hermione said. "I got her to calm down, but then she wouldn't stop begging me to come back to her, and I… I told her I just didn't love her anymore, and when she kept talking, I thought maybe I could get her to leave me alone by plugging in the music… Went to the loo, came out and you were here."

"Ah…" Ginny said, with a small smile on her face. "So all went well then?"

"Well, you could say that, yes." Hermione took on a serious tone. "But, erm… Ginny, I think we need to talk."

* * *

**Ok, so you all probably hate me now because not only did I take _forever _to update, but I left you with a cliffy also. I'm _so sorry_ everyone !! I've been really busy with school lately… I'll try not to take so long next time !! Promise !! Please tell me how much you like/hate it !!**

**~Bree**


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